Many times I tried to understand my son. I cried to hear him speak and then he spoke, but the words still did not bring clarity to me or my family. After a year and a half of my lil man using words to communicate we have finally started to understand his meanings, not always but most of the time. We know when he says “so and so was bad to me” it means someone hurt his feelings or didn’t give him what he wanted. We know when he says “i no get no food” it means he is hungry. But the world does not know these things. The world does not understand the way he communicates.
The world just doesn’t understand.
Even though I do understand there are many things I still do not understand.
I want to understand!
Today I got my chance to understand. I should have known … but I didn’t. I’m his mom and I did not know. How is it that a mom just did not know what her child was trying to say for so long.
I missed it …
We were outside today playing, he invaded my bubble. He just wanted a hug but he came into my bubble. I know this sounds horrible, but it’s the truth. At the time I couldn’t have anyone in my bubble. I took a deep breath and gave him a hug. Then I went to tickle him.
I learned something new today.
He said oww, he pulled away, he walked over to a tree and sat down with his head hidden in his arms. How did I not know that tickling him hurt. How did I not understand that for his mind and body tickling is painful.
I feel helpless
I gave him his space, let him regulate and then went to pick him up. He let me wrap my arms around him and make it better. He needed me to understand, he needed to have that moment. Afterwords he told me he doesn’t know why it hurts, but it does. It makes him feel bad when he is tickled.
I understand …. mommy understands … you are not alone