Judgmental stares

Dear Walgreens Employee and Shift Manager,

As Walgreens is a proud supporter of the Dan Marino Foundation 4th annual walk about autism I expect a little more from you in the area of awareness. However I should know better.

When my three year old daughter is having a melt down because she is fixated on a baby doll that she can not have at the moment it is really not your place or the time to look over your shoulder as the cashier to your manager and ask “Does your child act like that?”

You see, as I told you my child has autism. She is not reacting this way because she is a “spoiled brat.” Your unkind eye rolls are not going to change the fact that she is having a meltdown. This is not a temper tantrum. She is fixated on a baby doll. She is always fixated on a baby doll. It does not matter that she has on in the car or another 19 baby dolls at home to play with. She is fixated because all she plays with are baby dolls.

This mommy would love to educate you more about autism, but when you questioned her age and put her, by size, at four. I told you she was three and you rolled your eyes at her behavior. Well again I explained that she has a developmental disability and that while her chronological age is three she is functioning at the level of an 18 month old.

During a moment like this I am not sure what is going through your mind. What you think of my parenting skills or of how I should be treating my child’s behavior. My only focus at that moment is keeping my child from harming herself or others. I don’t have the time to educate you or any of the other three cashiers that are staring at my child and me.

In those four sets of eyes I am watched and in those moments I am judged, I am alone. I have accepted my children and the challenges their differences bring to the table. What I have not accepted is the ignorance that the general population has brought to the table. I have not accepted your judgmental looks and snarky mean spirited comments as the norm.

This mommy, will continue to educated the masses, but she will not be made to feel less by anyone!!!

Regards,

One pissed off mommy

Advertisements

Roller coaster

I am angry at you! Yes you, the ones who are making it impossible for my children to succeed in the typical functioning world.

You push these children aside and leave the parents to feel helpless at best.

I am jealous of you! Yes you, the one with the two year old that is speaking in full and clear sentences.

You don’t understand how hard it is when your child has words but can’t use them to tell you what they want or when they are hurting. Yet I am grateful that either of them have speech to share their words with me.

I am sick of you! Yes you, the mom or dad that is bragging on Facebook about that trip you are taking while your family takes care of your kids for you.

I hate that I cannot find a sitter that is capable of watching my two children with special needs. I hate that my own family cannot even watch the children long enough so that I can share a hot dinner with my hubby or hell take a nap.

I don’t want to hear it! So you couldn’t sleep for one night. I have lost track of the nights I go without sleep.

I am so angry, it seems like it is at the whole world, but honestly I am angry at myself for having these feelings. I am at a breaking point and need to have some time to regroup so that I can take care of my family. We are quickly approaching the winter holiday where all three of the kids will be home. Where I will spend 14 days with no help and no breaks. 14 days of meltdowns over schedules being off and things being different.

I DON’T WANT TO BE ANGRY ANYMORE!