Roller coaster

I am angry at you! Yes you, the ones who are making it impossible for my children to succeed in the typical functioning world.

You push these children aside and leave the parents to feel helpless at best.

I am jealous of you! Yes you, the one with the two year old that is speaking in full and clear sentences.

You don’t understand how hard it is when your child has words but can’t use them to tell you what they want or when they are hurting. Yet I am grateful that either of them have speech to share their words with me.

I am sick of you! Yes you, the mom or dad that is bragging on Facebook about that trip you are taking while your family takes care of your kids for you.

I hate that I cannot find a sitter that is capable of watching my two children with special needs. I hate that my own family cannot even watch the children long enough so that I can share a hot dinner with my hubby or hell take a nap.

I don’t want to hear it! So you couldn’t sleep for one night. I have lost track of the nights I go without sleep.

I am so angry, it seems like it is at the whole world, but honestly I am angry at myself for having these feelings. I am at a breaking point and need to have some time to regroup so that I can take care of my family. We are quickly approaching the winter holiday where all three of the kids will be home. Where I will spend 14 days with no help and no breaks. 14 days of meltdowns over schedules being off and things being different.

I DON’T WANT TO BE ANGRY ANYMORE!

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3 thoughts on “Roller coaster

  1. Tho my sons considered high functioning. I feel your pain. I watch boys play and its hard not to cry out to parents. You see that!! Your son is laughing out loud he is playing with friends and just had a sleep over. My son has no friends he doesnt get sleep overs. Adults are anoyed at his logical interjecting and kids make fun of him beat him and society ignores him. I feel your pain. Thank you for sharing that weakness i feel it too. That awful damn you for having “normal” kids you dont notice and i just want to know when will i see my son laugh? Smile? Will those blue eyes sparkle? Ive only seen it once or twice and that is almost worse cause you know what it looks like and you die a little everyday you dont get to see it.
    Thank u for sharing!

  2. Pingback: Roller coaster | World On The Spectrum

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