DENIED …

Today I sat through yet another IEP meeting for yet another one of my kids. We did the full out thing, they didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already expect walking into the meeting. 

They indicated that Lil Girl has a significant difference between her scores in the area of attention and memory from those in logic and reasoning. Reasoning and logic are her strengths. Due to her strengths in this area she scored high in cognitive, which denied her services in this area. 

Then they told me all about her personal – social behaviors. Here they spoke of how she is affectionate with family members and other adults. They did not show that it took her about 10 – 15 minutes to warm up to the evaluator that was playing with her. They talked about how she will sometimes allow adults to join her activities. They acknowledge that she does not like to help adults in the house, and that she is aware of other children, but does not interact directly with them. They say she can say her first and last name, but that she not respond correctly called by her name. Now here is the fun part because up until now it’s all clinical data … Lil girl LOVES playing in the kitchen.  She will give bowls of food and feed her babies. But the data is a little well … incorrect. They say she will initiate socialization with her peers. THAT IS BULLSHIT! She does not care about the kids in her class. She is happier playing by herself and gets very irritable when other children mess up her play. I CALL BULLSHIT! Oh and she is aware of gender differences, because you know boys have a penis. Yup she went there. God do I love the things that come out of my kiddo’s mouths. Again they state that there is a significant difference between her score of self-concept and that of peer social skill development. 

 

Her adaptive skills scored low as she still needs assistance with many tasks a 3 year old should be able to do, like undress themselves and always use utensils when eating, petting animals gently and not eloping. 

Her communication scored high because she uses gestures to get her point across and understand a lot of what is being said to her.  In other words, she makes herself and her needs known one way or the other. Her speech however is completely unintelligible. 

So what does all of this mean? Simply stated … her attention and memory issues are not a problem because her logic and reasoning skills are so high. However there has been a large decline in those since her Early Steps screening (about 15-20 points). Her adaptive skills are 5 points too high and her social skills are 2 points to high. These two areas being too high by a few points have denied her services for developmental delay. They have indicated that she has a severe phonological impairment that impacts her ability to make her needs and wants known. So for now she is being placed in a 2 1/2 a day program that will be language and speech intensive. 

While I am happy that she is getting intensive speech from the district, I feel lost because she had a really good testing day. It was one great day out of so many bad days that we go through. Now it is time to start working her therapy myself, like I had to do for me and for my son. While she scored anywhere form 2-5 points too high for the additional services, I will not let my child fall victim to a system that is too overworked and too finically stressed. My daughter will not fall through the cracks. She will succeed in her own way at her own pace. 

Changes

I am optimistic, I believe in the greater good and I truly believe that each of us can change the world one small voice at time.

Why are you trying to teach them social skills, you know you can’t change the world right?

Seriously though, it gets to be discouraging when those around you shoot you down. When those who are supposed to work with you don’t believe in the change you are trying to create. Yet still I strive to be that change. Our kids don’t always get the social requirements of society. They don’t always understand that you cannot laugh at another person’s lack of knowledge or mistakes. This skill must be taught. Whose job is it to teach it? Is it solely the parent’s? No this is part of an educator’s job, we must teach the hidden curriculum to our students with autism and similar disabilities.

It is useless at this point in their life to try and teach that skill. They will never get it.

If an educator truly believes this of a student, even if they are 18- 22, then why are you doing this? Why did you take that job and commit to helping these adults succeed in the world. Why are you here teaching them employability skills and training these individuals to become a functional part of society rather than committing them to a life in an institution?

They have gotten by this long just let it go. This is how they get along with each other. It is their normal interaction. They identify themselves as “ESE KIDS vs. Regular Kids” You cannot change that.

Your negativity pushes me to try harder. To prove you wrong. I may not be able to do it alone, I’m sure not going to do it in a mere 16 weeks, but if I plant the seed and you continue to water it and support that growth for the next 2 – 3 years that these students are with you I assure you there will be a change. I promise you that you can be part of the change that all of us are asking for.

You’re a great advocate, but you are too idealistic. You need to realize that this is what you get and you simply work with where they are.

Is there a reason that being idealistic is bad? Is there a reason that demanding a change, demanding that our students are given better is wrong? Is it because I am a new teacher, well technically still a student, that I am not jaded by the system?

You might answer yes to those questions but the truth is no I’m not all that new to all of the red tape of the special education world. I am giving my students, possibly your child or your niece, nephew, brother or sister, the same type of chance and education I want my own two children to receive. I do not want a teacher that does not believe that my children can do better. I want a group of professionals that see the untapped potential and will fight for them. I want a teacher that advocates for their students both in the classroom and out in public on outings.

I am not green enough around the ears to think that in my short 16 weeks with this group of students I will make huge monumental changes, but I am realistic enough to know that if the seed is planted and nurtured, these 10 students will be given the best education and chance at life after school they can have.

I am the voice of the change I want to see in the world. I am doing the things I want to be done for my kids for other students. I am idealistic, I am an advocate, and I will make a difference in the life of my students. 16 weeks is a pretty short time span, but it is long enough to show these students that I care.

What do you want? A teacher who doesn’t believe a change can be made, or one that will fight for your child and make sure their untapped potential is being accessed every day.

What is autism?

Recently a blogger I follow decided to describe the symptoms of autism and how they are used in the new addition of the DSM- 5 to diagnose ASD. Here is what I will say about the blogger, she is a well educated individual. She has her PhD in sped with a concentration in Autism. She is a mommy of NT children. What she did was give the textbook definition of autism.

The one thing that stood out to me in her post was that children with autism do not have/show empathy. While children/adults/individuals with autism display emotions differently than the neurotypicals of the world, they still show it. When my son noticed me laying on the couch the other night while watching TV, he brought me a blanket and covered me up. This little boy who spends his days looking at the world another way showed he noticed me and cared. When lil girl (a point or two shy of being diagnosed) saw her big sister cry at the dentist, she held her hand and patted her leg. She saw a need in another person and offered comfort in the exact way I do.

My 3 year old daughter may not have told me “I love you mommy” yet, but she shows it. After I braided her hair tonight, she gave me a hug. When I am away from the house she waits up for me before she will settle down to rest and sleep. Part of it may be her need for routine and having me home before she will sleep, but when I walk through the door at the end of a long day and night, she yells MOMMY and I know I am loved. When my son is angry or wound tight he seeks me out for deep pressure and cuddles. Even though I may not get “happy birthday mommy” or “happy Mother’s day” I know I am loved and cared for by my son.

The common statement that individuals with autism lack empathy is a myth. People need to realize that it is shown in a different way and they need to learn and/or be taught how to see it. Our children and adults deserve to be better understood. People should know that they are more than a list of character traits listed in a set of diagnostic criteria.